The Tooth Fairy Bell

I have a magic Relic that has a specific use.

When most kids lose a tooth they put it under a pillow or on the window sill, the next day the find it replaced by a dime, or a quarter.

When my children would lose a tooth we would put it under the Fairy Bell. This made it a grand challenge for the Tooth Fairy. You see they fly very fast and twitchy. It is very difficult for them to raise the bell and take the tooth without ringing the bell.

The Tooth Fairy loved the challenge so much he would leave a dollar.

--If you paid attention closely you might hear that bell ring. Maybe even see them... 

The Guardian

Guan Yu

This Relic is a bronze statue of Guan Yu.

There are many origin tales of Guan Yu. Most often he is said to have been a great General in the Chinese army that was invincible, made so by his incongruous Buddhist beliefs. All his skills, his power, was only brought forth to protect and defend.

Click image for detail

In Chinese Buddhism, Guan Yu is revered by most practicing Buddhists as Sangharama Bodhisattva a protector of the Buddhist principles.

His statue is usually located on the far left of the main shrine, quietly, subtly, on guard.  opposite his counterpart, another guardian known as Skanda.

What I always loved about this figure is that he was a warrior AND a devout Buddhist. With no conflict inside. A true Buddhist that is bristling with weapons.

--Look for him guarding the monasteries and gardens of Buddhist temples, as well as, my den!

The Seated Guanyin

This is another Buddhist icon that I bought on eBay in the late 1990s.

Her name is Guanyin.

There are many stories regarding her. Some even involve pirates!! One of the most common goes like this: Instead of being forced into a marriage with a rich, old, cruel man, Guanyin ran away and joined a secluded mountain monastery. She arrived ragged, starving and without hope.

When she met Buddha he was at the gate of the monastery. He was leaving. She had come all that way to study with him. He bent and whispered a question in her ear.

She was enlightened.

She lived out her life at that monastery, making it the most beautiful one in China. Some say it still remains hidden there.

She would sit and meditate on a rock outside the gate. Pilgrims were few because it was so difficult to find.

--She awaits on the rock in this statue.

 

The Broken Knight

The Broken Knight

This Relic was carefully moved from home to home over the years. but not carefully enough. I still need to repair it. It's been 15 years with the arm and the cape broken.

This was one of the sculptures that was protected by The Kiln God only to be broken by may clumsy hands years later.

It is actually based on another tiny Relic in the collection.

What is the best glue to repair clay?

Bought this little guy in a gamer shop in Foley Alabama in 1978.

--I managed to drag him with me throughout the universe since then.

The Cement Shishi

Moms Shishi Lion

This Shishi Lion, one of many in my collection, has a major significance because of it's origin.

When I was a kid my parents owned and operated Wilsey Nursery. In addition to selling plants and trees they sold lawn ornaments. It's where my love of lawn Gmomes began.

This cement Shishi Lion was in fact painted by my Mothers own hands.

It currently lives on my deck within view of where I sit at the kitchen table.

--Another memory of my Mom. There are quite a few.

The Tin Photo

Bertha Caroline Riedl Reiner.

This Relic is actually a photo, a tin-type to be specific, of Brenda's grandmother, Bertha Caroline Riedl Reiner.

It found it's way into my den because it has an odd kind of beauty. It has an interesting presentation on this medallion.

The expression of her face and the posture of her arm are unique.

--It just looks really damn cool in there!

The Skinny Clown

Mr. Skinny Clown

This Relic is very fragile and was made for me by my excellent daughter Cady.

She did it as an art project at her pre-school one day.  It's made out of sticks and paper machete and it is an odd looking guy. I use to volunteer there a couple times a year. It was a great pre-school.

She proudly handed it to me saying, "Here is a Skinny Clown for your room daddy. Everybody needs one."

--It's not that last Relic I treasure that was made by her hands.

The Weeping Buddha

Brenda and the Kids bought me this statue. I have always loved it. I had a small one but this one is really beautifully rendered. Here is the story as I know it:

The Weeping Buddha

There were two warriors who confronted each other in numerous battles. Both of them wore masks and never saw each other's face. After many such encounters the older warrior killed the younger one. 


Upon removing his mask he discovered he had killed his own long lost son. 


The warrior, filled with sorrow, staggered from the battlefield. He was about to throw himself from a bridge, wearing his armor, to drown himself. Before he cleared the railing, the warrior heard a small voice ask, "Before you go, tell me why you would do this and I won't try to stop you."  


The warrior told his story. His words dripped of his devastation. Buddha began to weep wordlessly.
When the warrior finished his story Buddha collapsed in on himself weeping deeply for the Warrior and his son. The Warrior left the rail of the bridge and touched Buddhas back to comfort him. 


His sorrow passed.


--Touching the back of this sculpture is said to relieve your sorrow.

The Dice

I still have my origin D&D Players Handbook.

I do not have the original cheesy dice that came with the Game.

There is only one thing to say about these:

"Roll for initiative..."

The Name Tag

In 1981 I was attending the University of South Alabama. 

During that year I played John the Orderly in their production of Whose Life is it Anyway.

John the Orderly worked in the hospital where the play was set. A tiny bit of comedy relief. He was a musician that played the xylophone in a punk band.

My costume was standard green scrubs, my own Converse high top sneakers and this name tag.

U.S.A. Medical Center is a real place and we actually talked a guy into making us this Relic, an actual name tag.

--The play was very serious and heavy. We had serious fun putting it on.

The Voigtländer, Vitomatic II

This Relic was my fathers camera.

Pa loved to take pictures. He had this Voigtländer, Vitomatic II 35mm camera as long as I can remember.

I also have the closeup package, the flash and original cases.

He was a serious slide taking fool. At our last family reunion we had so much fun looking at all the old slides.

Plants and Family.

We need to get the best of those slides scanned.

--I need to take this camera out and see how it still shoots!

The Fortune

I think this may be the tiniest Relic in the collection. A small piece of paper stuck in the corner of this photo of Brenda.

Ten years ago Brenda and I had just reconnected. We dated for a while starting in 1978 and had not seen each other for 22 years.

It was our third date when we got Chinese food delivered and were eating at my cool coffee table while watching movies on DVD.

Dinner was done and I am one of the few that actually eat the cookies. My Fortune cookie said, "Someone from your past has returned to steal your heart."

We laughed when I read it out loud. It was kind of haunting. At that time neither of us thought we'd ever get married again. But the Fortune was right. Four years later we married. We've been married since 2005.


--She still has it. I still have the Fortune.

The Cannons

The Cannons are actually "a collection" based on my wife's definition. If you have three or more of something it has become a collection.

I guess I collect wives.

Anyway the one on the far right I had as a childhood toy. The other three found their way into the house in various mysterious ways.

The barrels of these cannons are all metal.

--If I get my way, my next cannon might be fully functional!!

The Winged Bear

This Relic was given to me by my friend Leslie when she left Infodata. We worked together there for years. Lots of Movie nights and campouts and beers!!

It is very incongruous in the den on shelves full of odd looking, often kinda creepy Relics.

I think of her when I see the bear.

That is a general theme with with the Relics in my collection. A memory trigger.

--That or their Arcane Magical Powers!

The Sarge

This is a ceramic piggy bank in the shape of a WW2 Sargent.

My Father had this bank in his bedroom as long as I can remember.

--We always called him The Sarge.

The Shishi Lions

Chinese guardian lions, known as Shishi lions or sometime even Foo Dogs.

My Brother Russ brought these back from Taiwan back in the mid 1970's and gave them to my parents. My mom later gave them to me.

I have several examples of Shishi Lions in my Relics collection. This was my first set.

--I have pics of these on top of our china cabinet when my brother Carl was going to the prom!

The Catapult

I bought this all metal catapult at Pennsic in 2001. It is fully functional and is wickedly dangerous even though it's only nine inches tall.

The spring is really strong and it is a big finger biter! It cranks down and latches like a real catapult. And it can toss stuff REALLY far! Jelly beans are the perfect projectile.

My daughter Cady even used it for a science project one year! We flung a lot of play-doh!

--It still works!

The Potato God

Spud the Potato God

This petrified spud was discovered behind the stove at Chazbos house in Fredonia NY.

It was quickly deified as Spud the Potato God. Mostly because at the time it looked remarkably like Richard Nixon.

We drank a case of beer with Spud that night. 

--Soon after he went to Australia with me.

The Holy Relic

The Holy Nail, well maybe...

I scored several Relics while I was helping Becky's Parents clear out their townhouse. There was a lifetime of interesting items to pack.

I found this hand forged, eight inch long, ancient looking, nail.

I said, "Hey, Bert. where did this nail come from?"

He replied completely deadpan, "It's one of the nails they used on Jesus." and walked away.

--I added it to the Relic collection... had to!

The Norman Demilo

This was my first sculpture. It was 1978. I named him Norman Demilo.

In my very first art class in my very first year at GCC. Jimbo was in that class. I knocked this out in about 10 minutes in my very first class and Mike Powers really liked it. So did I. 

--Somehow I have managed to not break it in 30 years!

The Two Ball

It was the winter of 1980.

It was a different world. We would go to various local bars on various drink special nights. We were are The Field House that night just outside of Batavia on Rt.5.

That night I was there with Jimbo, Chaz, Jer and Tom when the fight broke out. I didn't see who started it but it spread to the whole bar like wild fire. Jimbo and I were still sober and we realized it was out of control to the point that the cops would be there in just a few minutes.

We managed to drag Chaz to the door before the woman at the pool table hurt him real bad. We were slowly exiting out the back of the lot into the trailer park as the State Troopers were rolling in.

We made our escape into the snowy night.

That's when Chaz realized he still had this pool ball in his hand. He had grabbed it off the table as insurance in case that woman had a biker for a boyfriend...

--I have had this Relic ever since.

The Calthrop

This Relic came into my collection in 1976. It was given to be by my friend Ray Clark (RIP 1981). He gave me a half a dozen of these.

This is made out of steel and about an inch tall. It is very heavy. Ray got about 20 of these from his older brother that worked in a machine shop. They were used in a giant tumbler, like a rock tumbler. Metal parts were put into this giant cement mixer looking thing, to get all the rust off and polished. I never knew what they were actually called. We called them Calthrops because they really hurt if you stepped on them.

As teen age boys we thought these would make wicked projectiles. One of these would be as good as a Ninja throwing star!!

My friend Ray died in a motorcycle crash in his early 20's. It always reminds me of him.

--It reminds me of the days when we were imortal Ninjas. 

The Skull

The Skull

Every Relic room needs a skull.

This Relic I made with my own hands. It was yet another project that was protected by the Kiln God.

In that art class we were doing "bone studies". Mike Powers, our teacher, had a huge box of various human and animal bones we could draw.

I decided to copy the skull with clay. When I sculpted it it was the size of a man size skull. During the firing it shrank to the point that it looks like a childs skull now.

I was reminded of a story. My niece Heidi once asked me if it was real. I told her is the the skull of her older brother. She replied, "I don't have an older bro..." Her eyes went wide.

--That makes this Relic even creepier. I love that about it...

The Dynamite Case

This rough looking case was used by my Father back in the day to store and transport dynamite. Yes, those actual red sticks that were used to blow up stuff!

I can remember several occasions when we blasted out stumps or boulders. It was Adventure!!

My dad was clearing out his shop one day and was ready to toss it out because the last time he used it, he had lost the key to the padlock, and had to tear the hasp off the box.

--I still thought it was cool, so I snagged it and now it is one of my favorite Relics!

The Hunchback

 

 

The Hunchback

I told you the Relic story of The Kiln God in a previous post. This Relic is one of the sculptures I made back then.

It was modeled from memory after a childhood plastic model of the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

This sculpture spent 20 years as an evil lawn ornament of my friend Phelp.

His wife was convinced that it was responsible for the deaths of several of their household pets. Both cats and dogs. She made me take it away. I cleaned it up and it has been a Relic since then.

--Oddly. Their pet mutilations stopped...

My Roll Top Desk

I don't know if my roll top desk qualifies as a Relic but I just cleaned it off and reorganized it today.

I bought it at Goodwill, soon after we bought this house. It is all oak and is actually a modern computer desk. The drawers on the left are fake and a door reveals a place to put a full size CPU.

It's covered with Relics though.  I will post pictures of them individually in the future.

--At least it's been dusted!

The Guard Clock Key

The Guard Clock Key

This artifact was collected while on an adventure.

My friend Chuck and I were exploring an abandoned building that really looked haunted.

The place was huge. It was scheduled to be demolished and all the major components had already been salvaged from the site.

This Relic is a key that is used by a night watchman while on his rounds. A series of these keys were scattered throughout the building. As the guard made his rounds he would turn these numbered keys in a clock he carried, creating a log of where the guard was when. It made it easier to figure out where the guard was when he was brutally murdered by Zombies.

--I love exploring ruins. Great memories within those abandoned buildings...

The Found Helmet

The very first house where I lived together with Brenda was a townhouse in Northern Virginia.

We purchased the house from a friend that was living in Arkansas at the time. The house was full of renters and was left in bad shape. It was full of trash, and tons of other things left behind. They even left an abandoned car in the driveway.

Not everything left behind was total garbage. There were lots of tools, a 30' extension ladder and even a fridge full of beer. The cigarette burns and wax in the rugs was not so much fun!

One of the things left behind is now a Relic in my collection. This helmet is specifically for Heavy Fighting in the SCA. I am a long standing member of the SCA and happened to be able to recognize exactly what it was.

--Plus this puppy is rusted to the point of being so ugly it looks evil in an excellent Mad Max sorta way...

The Nail of Slim the Hammerman

Slim the Hammer Mans Nail

In 1980 My friend Jimbo and I went to a classic Strongman Show at GCC.

Slim the Hammerman.

This guy was amazing. He gave a show using huge sledge hammers and axes that he would handle with ease as if they were Nerf toys.

He would hold up two sledge hammers that had extra weights and touch his nose with them.

He did a series of feats of strength using six inch heavy spikes too. He would hammer them through four inches of wood with his bare hands. He dragged me out of the audience to try and bend a spike in half. I tried my best but not even close.

He took the same spike and folded it like is was made of wax. He tossed it back to me and it was HOT!

--I kept the spike.

The Bullet Catch

The Bullet Catch

In the Spring of 2009 I attended a conference for work in Las Vegas. This was my first time to Vegas and I am not a gambler so I attended some of the great shows there.

My favorite on that trip was the Penn and Teller Show. They had a huge theater at the Rio.

I was lucky enough to be selected to come up on stage for the grand finale The Double Bullet Catch.

They picked me because they requested volunteers that had firearms experience. Being a life long shooter AND magic lover I raised my hand.

This stunt involved Penn and Teller to simultaneously shoot bullets and catch them in each others mouths. Add to the trick that they shot THROUGH panes of glass to show the bullet really flew.

They let me examine the S&W .357mag revolver for a good long time. The only mod was the addition of a small LASER site. It was all normal.

They also opened a fresh box of ammo and had me select a round and then, using a Sharpie, put my initials on the bullet and casing. I loaded the revolver and held the gun until they were ready.

I could see the LASER dot was in fact in Penn's mouth. They fired, the glass shattered, their heads rocked back, Teller handed the gun and then Penn Jillette spit my initialed bullet into the palm of my hand. I opened the revolver and my casing was there.

I will be damned if I know how the hell they did it. INCREDIBLE!

They were so nice after the show the each too pics for me with them back stage.

--The Bullet and Casing are now Relics.

The Kiln God

The Kiln God

This small clay figure is one of my first Relics.

This was a gift that was made for me by my first wife Ginny while we were dating at Genesee Community College.

In the art program there I loved to do sculptures in clay that we would fire in a kiln to turn them to stone. I have several of these in my Relics collection. She made this "Kiln God" for me to protect my projects while they were being fired after an explosion inside the kiln ruined one of my efforts.

When ever I fired another project after that this figure sat on top of the hot kiln, guarding it.

I have lived in over twenty homes since then and I have carefully moved this little guy along with me. Each time I packed or unpack it, I thought of Ginny and asked the Kiln God to protect those that live under this roof.

--So far he has done an excellent job...

The Radio

This Relic is a classic Zenith AM/FM Long Range Tube radio and came to my collection from the estate of the parents of my wife Brenda.

It actually doesn't work as I type this. I will be looking into repairing it.

I added it to the collection because my Father had the same radio as long as I could remember. It saw daily use. It was my fathers constant companion.

I was so excited about getting it I sent a photo of it to my siblings and I received this from my sister Wanda:

OMG!  I loved that radio.  Even when the fabric covering the speakers went tattered and torn, I still tuned in.  I remember how rich the sound seemed (remember- we're speaking in comparable terms)  I'd listen to faraway AM broadcasts at night.  For some reason, you could pick up channels at night that you couldn't get during the day. We could also occasionally pick up TV channels. My fondest memories of that radio are of Dad making cuttings with it next to him.  He was listening to either talk radio or 40's music.

In fact-  I must confess one of my most favorite memories.  I've only shared this one with Bobby, but I'll now share it with you guys as well-  Mom used to tell me how wonderful life was after the kids were no longer under foot.  When I was in college, I used to worry about her.  I called her every day and wrote her a letter at least every other day.  I worried about her life without children (empy nest and all).  I was the last in her life, and because of that, I knew all about all that had come before me.  My occasional telephone calls could never replace six children.  I really worried after college when I married and we had all moved on.  Then one day, much later, something remarkable happened.

I was helping Dad at the nursery; I wasn't in the business at the time; I was coming to help get him get caught up- cuttings, repotting, etc.  I would come on weekends (listening to above said radio in the potting shed) and pot or make cuttings late into the night.  It was the greatest therapy for me at the time.  (Until I got locked in the potting shed by accident- but that's another story).  Anyway, I showed up early one weekend morning.  I walked up to the back porch and heard loud music.  I peered in the door and saw the vision that has affected my life ever since.  Mom and Dad were in the livingroom- dancing!  At 7:00 a.m.!  They were in their pajamas! Listening to the local radio station (on said radio)- dancing their asses off!  How awesome is that?!- To see your seventy-something-year-old parents dancing their asses off in their own livingroom at seven in the morning on a random Saturday.  I must admit- I watched for a time- to see him twirl her and to see her step into his hold and gaze back at him- it was magical.  At some point, I caught myself.  I felt like I was intruding on a private moment.  I slowly backed up and turned away.  I stayed outside and came back like I was just arriving- making lots of noise so they knew I was there.  I never told them that I "caught them in the act."  I didn't want them to change their ways in case I was looming.

Mom used to tell me that they were in the middle of their second honeymoon.  Until "the dance," I thought she was just telling me that to help me let go.  To assure me that they were really happy without us kids.  Oh boy, she wasn't kidding.  After that, I learned way too much about their adult exploits after we kids were gone.

All I am saying is-  Thank you Mom and Dad!  I will be dancing my ass off with my (totally hot) husband every chance I get, morning or night.  I will gaze at him as he twirls me into his arms.  I hope my daughters catch us when they come home for their occasional visits.  I hope it affects them as it did me.  I hope they find their partner.  If they do, I won't mind if they don't call or write.  They'll know where we are and what we are doing. . . 

Thanks Marty for the New Year's jolt.  I hope your memories are as fond as mine.

--This is my vision of the heaven they are in now.